Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Opposition's First Epistle: Be Nice to Taxpayers

Generic Law Scam Victims
1000 Unemployment Lane
Loserville, USA (probably California)

Greetings Lesser Beings:

We here at the Law School Truth Center understand your plight, much in the same way that mortgage predators understand their customers' plights.  Got to have a blueprint to rob a joint.  You are victims.  We know.  We exploited the crap out of you.

Yet your exploitation does not justify lashing out against the fine taxpayers of this country.  We speak of Freddy the Fireman, Carrie the Carpenter (hey, no gender stereotypes here), Denny the Dentist, and Guillermo the Gardner (hey, stereotypes exist for a reason).  These hard-working individuals slave tirelessly and dutifully pay exorbitant tax rates to Uncle Sam.  Our entire economy runs on their sweat and their sacrifices and their ability to gain credit card approval.

As you likely know, student loans are overwhelmingly a federally-backed enterprise.  Skipping over a whole bunch of economic mumbo jumbo that frankly most of you are too stupid to understand, that means if you never pay back your loans, those fine taxpayers are basically stuck paying for YOUR education.  So the next time you go out in public, look at Cassius the Cashier.  Look at him closely.  Not like that, you pervert!  That's more like it.  When you whine and moan about your $2000 loan payments, when you put them on IBR with no intent of paying the full balance, Cassius has to pay the bill.  Now what the hell did Cassius ever do to you?!?!?  HE didn't tell you to go the law school.  HE didn't tell you to take out student loans to buy Starbucks and a new cell phone every day.  HE didn't tell you to choose an expensive private law school over an efficient public alternative like UCLA.  And yet, YOU are making HIM pay for YOUR mistakes.

And some of you even have the audacity to ask for bankruptcy protections!  Why don't you just kick Cassius in the face, huh?  No other form of debt would so burden an honest taxpayer with such clean, firm-but-soft hands as Cassius.

Shame on you, law graduates!  Cassius the Cashier deserves more.  As does Fannie the Farmer and Uni the Unionized Concrete Pourer.  Pay your own damned loans so they don't have to.  Moreover, you should GIVE them money for their troubles.  Here they are, trying to work to raise families and whatnot, and YOU had the shame to take money from them at below-market interest rates.

At the very least, could you at least thank them for serving as taxpaying guarantors of your legal education?  Even if we sorta lied to you, you'll always have the expertise and the juris doctor credential.  You at least owe Cassius and co. a "thank you."  How many of you even have the basic human decency to issue a "thank you?"  A hug?  A complimentary handjob?  A basket of mixed fruit?

Why are law graduates so damned ungrateful?  Your arguments would go further if you only had an ounce - a tiny tidbit of a pinch of a dollop - of that magical salve: basic human kindness.

But no - you take their money at super-low interest rates, make them foot the bill for your mistakes and indulgences, and THEN you decide not to say thank you for the opportunity.  Why, as a taxpayer myself, I should spit in your collective faces for the downright IMPUDENCE and IMPERTINENCE you have shown the average taxpayer.

Want to know what you CAN do to help the taxpayers out?

Start scamming lemmings yourself.  You heard me.  They're a gullible bunch - I mean, look in the damned mirror.  You thought you were a smart and special little snowflake, but then you woke up one day broke, unhappy, failed, and you have no idea what just happened.  It's not some magical roofies; it's business psychology.  Be creative.  You'll be surprised what those suckers in the 18-35 bracket spend their money on.  Like, you know, near-worthless legal educations.

Once you start scamming the lemmings like us, you'll feel what it's like to be that most special of person: a taxpayer.  Once you're a taxpayer, you can bitch and moan all you want about the law school scam, as you'll have actually sustained a real loss like Cassius the Cashier and Freddy the Fireman and all those others whose labor runs our world-class nation.

But right now?  After taking all that money and refusing to pay it back?  You're way ahead.  Don't be a poor sport to the average taxpayer, who is the only true loser in this wonderful, wonderful game.

Have some humanity, and give Wally the Waiter a hug, and a big tip.  He's given you so much more than fries already.


The Law School Truth Center

p.s.  Have you considered making a donation to your law school?  Every day you use your legal education in many versatile ways to help society, but your law school only had three years to use your tuition money.

p.s.s. Please tell people to enroll for fall.  Please.  We're desperate.

The Law School Truth Center is a NNP (non-non-profit) dedicated to spreading the glorious truth about law schools, extolling the virtues of expansive legal education, encouraging lemmings to enroll and gain valuable career-altering skills, and rewarding law schools for scamming as many people as possible.  Unlike law graduates, the LSTC is grateful for the opportunity to post on Outside the Law School Scam in addition to its regular blog, which can be found at http://www.lawschoolscam.com/blog.  It can be reached at lawschoolscam - at - usa.com.  Thanks for reading.


  1. First.

    Wow that feels great. I want to thank everyone over at ITLSS who always encouraged me to shoot for first post even when I thought it was impossible.

  2. For some reason, these "personal responsibility" cockroaches - including those from privileged backgrounds, i.e. boarding school, parents setting them up with nice jobs, etc. - never extend this reasoning to the parasites known as "law professors" and deans. Those "educators" are also scamming the taxpayers, since their income is entirely based on the federally-backed student loan scheme.

    There is CLEARLY an attorney GLUT, in this nation. Anyone with an IQ above 75 recognizes this situation. Yet, the law school pigs continue to pull down fat salaries - while knowingly pumping out FAR TOO MANY graduates for this shrinking industry.

    1. 9:13 here.

      Why can't we turn off the student loan money spigot but also hold graduates accountable for their debts? Hmm? The two can't be decoupled?

      As a matter of fact, I DID go to a boarding school. It was a stupid and wretched experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. My parents weren't "rich" - but they taught me to make sound decisions with money ... not spending or borrowing more of it than I can afford, for example. Pretty obvious, right?

    2. Gambling debts and frivolous credit card purchases can be discharged in bankruptcy proceedings. The same goes for business debts. American taxpayers have also bailed out the following BILLION DOLLAR industries, in the last 30 years: S & L pigs, auto manufacturers, large banks, major airlines, etc. You should direct your anger at those situations.

      The federally-backed student loan scheme pushes up enrollment in colleges and universities. This allows the "educators" to artificially inflate tuition, i.e. "When the demand goes up, so does the price of the product."

      By the way, I am aggressively paying down my student loans - without the assistance of well-off parents. Tons of fortunate and responsible college grads are doing so. Do you want a cookie for not pissing away your family's money?! Lastly, the United States is owned by thieves. That is obvious to anyone with an IQ above room temperature.

    3. Well, maybe THOSE debts shouldn't be dischargeable, either. Did you ever consider that possibility?

      Props on your repayment strategy. And I don't want anyone to give me a "cookie." I'd rather earn the money myself and then have the satisfaction of buying it - an outlook that is all too rare among most of the people who populate blogs like yours.

      And if you REALLY think America is "a nation of thieves," then perhaps it's about time for you to pull up stakes and take yourself to a more deserving country. Just sayin'.

    4. @10:00:

      No bankruptcy for anyone! I like the cut of this guy's jib!

    5. 10pm - you sir, are an idiot. No bankruptcy for anything? Think about the ramifications of that for a minute. A$$clown.

    6. There's a reason we have bankruptcy discharge in this country. We truly believe in giving people a "fresh start." Taking this away will only skew wealth more towards creditors and the wealthy. I think you should be able to discharge education debt and interest ~7 years after incurring it, provided you also surrender your diploma.

    7. "provided you also surrender your diploma."

      Do people who run up business debt have to surrender their business experience? Do credit card abusers have to surrender memories of their Alaskan cruise? Do those discharging medical debts have to take the tumor back?

  3. This just in: Failed Law School Graduate Attempts Satire - Fails at That, Too.

    I'm the guy who called you moochers out the other day for demanding that the taxpayers build you a whole neighborhood of "time-traveling fairy castles." It sounds like I rattled some basement-cages with my comments.

    Ironically enough, most of the points in this post are actually true. The injustice of transferring YOUR failure and debt to uninvolved taxpayers IS obvious and undeniable.

    There's an hint of borderline hysteria in your self-enabling bullcrap. You idiots are the REAL scammers in the equation - fortunately, this isn't a nation of thieves, so your demands fall on deaf ears. The continuing failure of your selfish agenda is one of the few things that make me think there is still hope for America.

    1. Preach on, brother! We taxpayers will not be bulldozed by maggots!

      Although we must correct you on one point: We at the Center are *successful* law school graduates because we are making *taxable income* that *pays our bills.*

  4. @9:13PM March 26th

    Hi Antonio. How is Joe C?

    Keep the trolling up.

  5. You highlight the stupidity of those who claim it would be unfair to taxpayers if we were allowed to declare bankruptcy. The student loan money we took out never existed in the first place, so nobody is going to have to pay it back to the government. It's just shifting figures around in a balance sheet that never gets paid.

    Plus which fact even if it did, paying student loans back takes more money out of the economy than discharging them, which leaves the borrower free to inject money directly into the economy by buying things like food, or a house, or clothes.

    1. It's FAINTLY arguable that some of the interest "never existed" - but of course the principal did. It was drawn out of the U.S. Treasury, loaned to the student, and paid to the law schools in full. Um, right?

      Why don't we just let the taxpayers spend their OWN money, instead of hoping that a few crumbs of "stimulus" will eventually find their way back to them?

    2. Yee-haw! I could not agree more with 2:50. In fact, I want control over MY MONEY wherever Congress decides to allocate it. I don't want any of MY MONEY going to the United States Navy. I don't live near a Naval base or major coastline operation, so I'm obviously not seeing any benefit of it. And that money being sent to Israel? Pshaw, I'm not Jewish - let the taxpayers decide if they want to donate money to Israel.

      I don't even know why we have a federal government when THE TAXPAYER is clearly in the best position to determine where every dime of THEIR MONEY should be spent!

    3. You should address those concerns to your Congressman, then. Do you think they are royalty or something?

      I'd say that having a Navy is a little different from demanding that the taxpayers assume a mountain of YOUR debt, right?

    4. "I'd say that having a Navy is a little different from demanding that the taxpayers assume a mountain of YOUR debt, right?"

      Of course, *I* think that (remember? we agree on everything, you silly goose - we're like sisters who have their periods at the same time!), but thank goodness our Congress doesn't, and already made the policy determination that back-stopping graduate educations is a national priority, even as naval bases cutback and close! That means that Congress valued your money being spent making loans for frivolous graduate education more than it valued your money being spent on aircraft carriers. Huzzah!

      Law debt aweigh, my boys!
      Law debt aweigh!

    5. "Spent making loans." Riiiight.

      Actually, the loan money will not truly be "spent" (that is to say, lost to the taxpayers forever) unless you get your wish by having Congress retroactively convert the loans into gifts.

      As someone who has paid all of my loans off, would I get any of my money back if student loans were forgiven? And by your logic, why shouldn't I? It kind of illustrates the absurdity of your spoiled, whiny demand.

    6. Why yes, and extending that further, I paid *my* credit cards off in full, so Capital One should give me a rebate when that nasty, wasty government bars them from collecting on Joe Schmo's debts. Certainly, the government owes you a rebate on YOUR student loans if others are able to gain access to a bankruptcy court to bar government collection of them. Certainly! It's only *fair.*

      Why, brother, I think I'm in agreement: NO BANKRUPTCY FOR ANYONE!

      In fact, did you know student thieves are already getting bankruptcy discharges if they can con some judge into thinking they have an "undue hardship?" Already, I think you and I should be getting SOMETHING back for that.

      Despite your failure to understand basic accounting (loan origination is an expense (verb form: to expend or spend) - it's the outflow of capital assets AND a liability being incurred), you are I are unquestionably on the same page. DOWN WITH BANKRUPTCY!

      Do you have a website and/or newsletter where I can learn more about your stimulating views?

  6. To help understand the point of view of the "Opposition" referred to in the post title, this describes the father of somebody that is anon around here:

    "From 1993 to 1996 he served as a member of the statutory advisory committee on student financial assistance formed by the U.S. Congress to advise the Congress and the Executive on the delivery of federal student aid and access to higher education."

    In addition, the anon person's Dad is an advisor to the California State Bar's Board of Governors.

    1. This is sad. Now you are just making things up.

    2. Southern California Edison is made up too.

    3. You idiot, I am NOT the idiot you are describing. Thanks for playing, and better luck next time.


  7. "As a matter of fact, I DID go to a boarding school. It was a stupid and wretched experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

    Dude, I think you are really living in your own bubble.

    I bet a lot of intellectually talented kids would love the opportunity to get a first rate education at a private boarding school in Massachusetts (tuition for said school is now around 50K per year.)

    1. I'm sure they THINK they would - they might reconsider that once they arrived there, though. The snobbery there is truly epic.

    2. "The snobbery there is truly epic."

      Maybe, but the teachers aren't going to not teach because of snobbery.

      People that act snobby are the ones with a problem, and not the people that they are being snobby towards. Don't you know that yet?

      And everybody usually finds their own friends anyway, unless they are loners.

      And only insecure people are bothered by what they perceive as snobbery.

      And the older snobby people get, the less snobby they become because life has a way of showing them things.

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