Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Manifesto of the Menshevik Fake-Reformers

The French Nation, in simultaneous, desperate dead-pull, and as if by miracle of madness, has pulled down the most dread Goliath, huge with the growth of ten centuries; and cannot believe, though his giant bulk, covering acres, lies prostrate, bound with peg and packthread, that he will not rise again, man-devouring; that the victory is not partly a dream. Terror has its scepticism; miraculous victory its rage of vengeance. Then as to criminalty, is the prostrated Giant, who will devour us if he rise, an innocent Giant? —Carlyle
We have reached the point where the systematic failure of law school is simply undeniable, even by the schools themselves. The new question is, what to do about it; should there be deep or shallow efforts at reform? Should we have a Bolshevik revolution in legal education, or merely a Menshevik touch-up?

Recently, a group of law professors wrote a manifesto, more absurd than even the UNABOMER's, filled to the brim with the dregs of ideas to reform law schools. I made no comment then, because—like the time Bill Maher refused to read Woody Harrelson's book, My Brother P!ssed on Me in Ed TV: I didn't read it, because honestly, it looks stupid. Comments were made here earlier disrespecting the usefulness of these proposals, as the "reforms" merely prune the leaves of a twig of a redwood, leaving the gargantuan trunk and roots both untouched and unmentioned. Professors, ya'll ain't no lumberjacks.

We already have heard the response from the Scambloggers (i.e., the only unbiased adults involved in the discussion so far), and they have said that these proposed "reforms" are window dressing that will either not have any curative effect, or worse, exacerbate the problem by making it easier to graduate and enter the legal profession.

What is disturbing is the chance that this "rethinking how law schools work" claptrap will actually be adopted, since it doesn't upset the Valvoline-used-as-hair-grease-run apple cart. There will also be a great opportunity cost if the Mensheviks win; it prevents meaningful reforms to the structure while allowing useless or even counter-productive ones on the surface. Graduation in 30 instead of 36 months! You still won't get a job, not even one as Leiter's toothbrush dealer—but you will pay just as much tuition anyway. :-)

We have competing ideas, real (i.e., Bolshevik) reform to the entire process of law school: no more government loans, or if loans, only with tight regulation as to limit tuition and default rates, or even better, an outright return to the L.L.B. and closure of all law schools, or at least limits on enrollment based on employment, etc. But if the insider (Menshevik) academics get their way, we not only will fail to save the legal profession, but we will make it worse, and afterwards be forced to hear the Yellow-Toothers & Tulsa Tams of the world flatter themselves that, dagnabbit, at least we tried! All you damn kids did was complain. 

So, I suppose we may have to live with 1avv sk00l as it is, and let the B-Lite's and Tulsa Tams of the world keep their one-hour-of-teaching-to-one-hour-of-vacation-leave-ratio-stress-free jobs, of which the "reforms" they propose won't affect at all.

Read my book-length satire/exposé of law school, Smarter Than Socrates: The End of the Law School Era.


  1. I don't see a B-Lite or Tulsa Tam's signatures on the manifesto, so I am not sure why you are focusing on them. I do see a Prof. Campos and a Prof. Tamanaha on it, so perhaps they would have been better examples to use.

    1. No signatures because they don't even believe in that minimal level of bullshit reform. They want no reform.

      Plus what was it, sixty signatures or so? Out of maybe an average of 30 professors per school, multiplied by 200 schools? That's 1% of all law profs.

      The rest want no reform.

      There is a long way to go. Attacks on the JD establishment need to be growing in regularity and magnitude, not decreasing like 6:07 suggests. Everyone is a target.

  2. The one thing I will give credit to ProfGroup is that they identified the problem (i.e., "issue spotted"), which is better than people like Larry Mitchell can do, apparently. There IS an oversupply, there IS a debt crisis, etc.

    What I don't understand is why "close and consolidate" is not on the table for them. Almost all of those profs are at schools that wouldn't close. Someone like Campos or Tamanaha or even Leiter could strongly push for a state flagship + elite privates + certain schools in major metro areas recommendation. Although competition is generally good, the existence of excess schools misleads the public by suggesting there's market demand there when there really isn't.

    Let's look at Florida: U of F is a flagship, Miami serves a major metro area, and Florida State is a well-regarded public in the state capital. And let's keep Stetson open to have a school in the Tampa-Orlando area.

    Coincidentally, this is exactly how Florida's legal education system looked at one point in time. Then they opened 9 law schools in a 40 year period. It's fairly obvious to see what needs to happen. Barry? FIU? F A&M? Ave Maria? Close, close, close, close.

    It's that simple. And since the Camposes of the world rarely teach at these places, I do not understand why this "reform" is not numero uno on the list.

    1. There are too many law firms too. The more prestigious and established ones should get together and decide which of their competitors should close down.

    2. I see what you did there, but the analogy isn't perfect. One point being that law firms are part of the for-profit laissez-faire-a-palooza of the marketplace, while higher-ed is a "non-profit" enterprise that gets significant money from government and private donations to endowments (or so they have claimed up to this point on their tax returns).

    3. Law firms close down when banks won't extend credit to them any more, and call their loans. Law schools will close down if and when the government stops extending or guaranteeing loans to prospective law students who are unlikely ever to be in a position to repay them.

      I don't think anyone seriously expects law schools to "get together and decide which of their competitors should close down."

    4. Indeed. The law dean @ 8:14 would have a valid point if, and only if, the federal government pledged to loan people unlimited amounts of money to pay any and all legal expenses. At that point, the government WOULD be justified in taking a merit-based review of law firms to see who could continue in the program.

      Putz - it wouldn't be decided by the law schools anyway, it'd be done at the accreditation level. The state bars already have regulations revoking accreditation for low-employment, low-bar pass-rates, etc. Under respectable accreditation standards, places like Cooley (I assume you are an administrator there given the rhetoric spouted) should have never received accreditation in the first place.

    5. Yes, but you are starting to see credit down grades for the law schools which is the beginning of the death toll.

  3. Four comments in and Painter has still not dropped his panties and wiped his stinking vagina and ass all over this yet?

    1. No, but at least you've graced this post's comments with your shitty presence, Mr. Infinity.

  4. For $ome rea$on, these academic "reformers" did not mention the following proposals:

    1. Shutting down at least 50 law schools, in the next 2-5 years;
    2. Substantially decreasing tuition, which would entail salary cuts to these overpaid, under-worked ass-clowns;
    3. Requiring higher LSAT scores and UGPAs, i.e. no more admissions for kis with 3.0 GPAs in English Literature or PoliTTTical "Science" - or admitting anyone with under a 155 LSAT score.

    $omehow, these proposals were not mentioned by the 67 "educators."

    1. One half to two thirds of all law schools in the United States should be shut down permanently.

  5. Here is a youtube video by Mr. Infinity about Student Loan Debt:

    1. That kid is either a troll or he's completely delusional.

  6. Mr. Infinity actually has three videos on youtube.

    One of them has his real voice, and you decide if he doesn't sound a bit odd.

    But then again Mr. Infinity is making a general counter argument, and in a sense he has the existing status quo position of the law school industry on his side after all.

    Fair is fair and he should be heard.

    But that snake ring is kind of weird.

    It sure would be nice to know who he really is.

    He is for animal rights and is a self described Vegan.

    Also a video game player that is inordinately fond of World of Warcraft which involves role playing.

    He has the ability to travel often and boasts about it.

    1. Paintroach, I know it's probably miles above your reading level, but you should read Guy de Maupassant's "The Piece of String." It's about 5 pages long.

      You are a living portrait of a roach obsessed. Just let it go already!

  7. ^^^ I should say the ability and means to travel, because traveling ain't cheap.

  8. Mr. Infinity/Epic Fail Law School Disaster/ Hopeful Law Student/Terrified Law Student posted a comment last summer that stated that he wanted to drive me to suicide, and that he, Mr. Infinity would defame my family anytime he saw me posting comments on the internet, and so that Mr. Infinity's online defamation about my family would be public and for all to see on the internet forever.

    So there is your thumbnail bio of your anon customer Mr. Infinity.

    I have a many hard copies of these horrible remarks by Mr. Infinity from August of 2012, and I hope he is not out of control and dangerous and I hope to God that he will never be admitted to any state Bar.


    John Koch

    1. "Many hard copies." You should print out ten million of them and fill up your bedroom from floor to ceiling with them.

      Just like the guy in "The Piece of String," LOL.

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