Opposition's Fourth Epistle: What If History Repeats Itself, But It Tells a Splendid Joke?

Generic Law Scam Victims

1000 Unemployment Lane

Loserville, USA (New York?)

RE:  Law Dean Conference

Hello Empty Pocket Whippersnappers:

I wanted to send you a quick message regarding a recent conference among legal administrators.  One hundred forty (140) of the country's most prestigiously elite law school deans gathered to discuss the serious issues facing legal education.  Chicago-Kent's dean called the conference "provocative," and stressed the challenge of finding ways to "maintain[] quality programs without passing the increasing costs to students."

Many deans reported very steep declines in applications, they noted the bleak job market, and the gathered leaders discussed how to augment revenues and reduce expenses, including using adjunct faculty members, reducing library expenditures, and utilizing hot new technology like "electronic casebooks."

Solving these issues seemed especially pressing to the gathered intellects, who wished to keep tuition increases at a minimum given that "student loan defaults have increased while state funding for legal education has decreased."

But the dean of Maryland expressed caution by noting that "demographic trends" suggested that if schools continued to downsize, there would be a shortage of new graduates in the next decade, given the massive number of lawyers set to retire in the near term.

Oh, did I say recent?  I suppose I was speaking geologically, for what I meant to say was 1996.  You can read a summary of the lets-tackle-this-head-on pow wow here.

You nitwits.

Anyone out there who thinks the current gaggle of law deans running these conferences will do a darned thing to radicalize legal education in any way that doesn't involve their wallets getting bigger needs to look no further than this conference.  A supermajority of the law deans in the country were there.  They talked about trimming expenses and the need to keep tuition low, especially facing student loan default and dwindling applications.

What happened?  Tuition increases and some fine smooth scammin' like the world has never seen before.  Those dark days of deans having to self-reflect spawned a golden age of spitting out lawyers into a market that had no use for them.  Meanwhile, novel, game-changing technology sat on the sidelines as the ABA insisted that everyone have a fully-stocked library and an office for every faculty member this is very important, and make sure my office has carpet that can handle red wine and semen stains, thanks.

So whatever "reforms" you think will happen or that law deans are open to, remember 1996.  Scam found a way to exploit prospectives at ever greater levels.  Scam will win again.  It always does.  And when law deans talk about reform, it's only happening if they will make enough to remodel the kitchen, which they can do because they're not total losers who fell for the law school bit hook line and sinker, or who believe that when law deans say "keep tuition low" they actually mean "keep tuition low" and not "we're gonna party like it's Zimbabwe in 2007!"

I wanted to share this with you so you can laugh and/or feel the invisible gut-punch when you read an article about an upcoming conference where law deans discuss the exact same things and vow to take action.  It's not an accident; it's God's plan to rub in your loserdom.  Sorry, pal.  Nature is cruel.

Scam on!

Sincerely,

Law School Truth Center

P.S.  Is there any truth to the rumor that there's some 0Ls out in Californey?