Monday, May 6, 2013

Unpainted Haiku

A boring "law school is bad for you" campaign will not work. It has been tried and failed many times over. But what does work are posts that take jabs, make fun of the system, overstep boundaries, and appeal to the younger readers. —Awesome comment

Coincidentally to the above comment, (what movie was it that the detective says, "I don't believe in coincidences?" Was that Brad Pitt in Seven?) at a recent inter-school faculty conference several big shot law professors submitted Haiku's for poetry readings. A sympathizer to our cause there—actually it was the custodian, who has $100,000 of debt for his own "J.D." (that is, Janitorial Doctorate) managed to wrangle me a copy from the dumpster and I thought we should post it here. I was actually surprised by the heartfelt confessions and self-awareness that these academics were able to express. If only they had been so honest with their feelings in class, we could at least have built up the psychological immunity to the resulting legal career disappointments. Some highlights of the collection:

Professor Brian Leiter, University of Chicago:

Girl of my dreams saw
My teeth yellow as mustard
So she slapped me, hard.

Professor Chiara "Wide Eyed" Giorgetti, University of Richmond:

Law—Chiara flew first class;
Her students flew coach.

Associate Dean Tamara Piety, University of Tulsa Law School

Fight against junk food
While all this time, my students
Starve silently, poor.

There was one other poem, but I could only glance at the last line, which read: Rage, rage, against the drying of the Paint. I didn't bother to read anymore of that one. [Note: Edited from "dying" based on very astute comment below].

Too much snark, man, too much snark.

Read my irreverent AND irrelevant book-length satire/exposé of law school, Smarter Than Socrates: The End of the Law School Era. It's scarcely read, despite being free.


  1. No comment...

  2. Perhaps you misread that last one - 'Rage, rage, against the drying of the Paint', surely.

  3. Delicious.

    And able to write Haiku properly too. I hate it when idiots try to be funny but fuck up the 5-7-5 meter. Even more when they argue that they've got it right and show that they can't count syllables.

    Nice job.