Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Why law students should pin their hopes on Indiana Tech.

Recently-opened Indiana Tech University School of Law  is not bashful about deeming itself a "better" kind of law school, in spite of its open enrollment policies and its lack of ABA accreditation. Better because of its emphasis on "legal ethics, professionalism, and civility." Until recently I was inclined to treat such claims with skepticism. However, unlike other law schools, which offer empty verbiage about professionalism, Indiana Tech's claims have substance, actual physical substance, in the form of a professionalism pin that will be awarded to Indiana Tech law students by their proud professors. Indiana Tech Law's website explains:
"As part of their first semester Professionalism class, students will, collectively, draft an Oath of Professionalism that captures and reflects their understanding of what it means to be part of the legal profession. After the Oath is administered, faculty present each student with a “scales of justice” pin to welcome them to the profession."  
http://law.indianatech.edu/ai1ec_event/oath-ceremony/?instance_id=54 

The ceremony will take place on October 10th. To think that only five weeks ago, these entering law students were utterly clueless about lawyering, and now they are on the brink of being awarded professionalism pins! And the pins will be bestowed during a memorably solemn ceremony at which the students will be administered an oath, I mean, an "Oath," of their collective devise. [1] The law students should be proud, and the crocodiles, I mean law professors, can be forgiven an unwonted tear or two.

I also think the Indiana Tech law students may benefit, although maybe not in the anticipated way. Here are two scenarios-- the first is the way that Indiana Tech would like its students to imagine their bright futures as symbolized by the oath and the pin. The second is what will probably happen.

1. Even 50 years hence, when Indy Tech law grads are rich and respected leaders in, uh, Global Law [2], they will remember with a nostalgic sigh that solemn rite of passage at the dear old mock courtroom of their Fort Wayne alma mater. Kind of like MacArthur in the fading twilight of his life recalling the oath he took as a young cadet at West Point. It all began there, with the ceremony, the solemn vow, and then the scales of justice pin to "welcome" them to the profession. Surely this pin will be proudly displayed in many judicial chambers, not to mention the well-appointed offices of jetsetting Global law firm partners in cities like New York, London, and Shanghai. 

2.  Unemployable due to having spent three years earning a professional degree from a notorious laughingstock of a scam school, unqualified even for document review, and looking down the barrel of a six-figure educational debt on top of run-of-the-mill living expenses, the Indiana Tech law grad will recall that he or she possesses a rare curiosity piece, that ridiculous professionalism pin. And, yes, the pin will have actual value, unlike his or her JD. The professionalism pin will be a little fragment of an evil scam, as well as an emblem of pure irony. As such, it will be appealing to collectors in the same way as authentic copies of the Enron Code of Ethics handbook, which sell online for an impressive price. The Indiana Tech "lawyer" will breathe a sigh of relief, as he or she realizes that the pin can be sold on ebay, maybe yielding enough cash to pay for a week's groceries, or to forestall eviction until next month.

notes:
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[1]  According to the Sarah Lawrence College Editorial Style Guide, "[f]ormal oaths and pledges are usually lowercased (the presidential oath of office), except for the Pledge of Allegiance."  Well, Sarah Lawrence, you are talking about a mere presidential oath of office. For something as momentous as an Indiana Tech Law School "Oath of Professionalism," definitely you've got to capitalize.

[2]  Indiana Tech Law School offers a "Global Law and Leadership" concentration because, according to its website:
"[e]ach day, the world becomes a smaller community of nations. Described by some as a world without borders, international law and international business transactions will require that lawyers around the world are equipped to participate in a complex marketplace where knowledge of other languages, customs, laws and cultures is essential. Enrollment in this concentration will expose you to a wide variety of courses that will prepare you to assume leadership in areas such as human rights, international trade, and international litigation."
 I would say something sarcastic, but words fail me.
 
 

37 comments:

  1. If they flunk or drop out or fail to pass the bar exam, do they have to give the pin back?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I suppose it doesn't need saying that whenever a new, unaccredited toilet opens its doors it will be accepting students who the 100+ accredited toilets all thought were too stupid to be lawyers.

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    Replies
    1. There may be far more than 100. Are you just counting the T3/T4 dumps?

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    2. 6:13 here. I used the term "100+" because different people draw the line where the toilets stop and the traps start in different places. But I do agree that there are a lot more than 100 toilets.

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  3. It's gimmicks every step of the way.

    First the "art collection".
    Then "different way of teaching law" (which was not different at all)
    Now "ethics pins", like it's a fucking dentist's office where the kid gets a sticker of a happy smiling tooth for being a big boy and not crying?

    Ethics pin. Let me guess whose idea that was. Ummmm the dean, who seems to do EVERYTHING WRONG????

    The school would be the most successful school in the entire nation if the board of governors listened to what the dean's plans were, then decided to do the exact opposite.

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  4. Will the scales be held by lady justice with the blindfold on? Because every student at this school is having the wool pulled over their eyes.

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    Replies
    1. Bam! Good one!

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    2. No, they're not getting the wool pulled over their eyes. The dean and the rest of the personnel there are indeed contemptible swine, but the students were idiots even to consider their mephitic toilet of a law skule.

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    3. I agree, you can't cheat an honest man or woman. Average age of incoming students at Indiana Tech is 33.

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  5. Those Indiana Tech ILs evidently spent five weeks of class time on this project. In mind's eye, I can see the professor fighting the urge to smirk while leading the class through one earnest debate after another about which fine phrases to include in the Oath.

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  6. An Ethics Pin!!! ... on your Uniform??

    Seriously, do they get a gold star too?

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    Replies
    1. "Just tell me, mister, what law school would admit a man like you?"

      Dammit, 7:09 AM, you beat me to it.

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    2. Your days are numbered here at ITL, you and all your dimwit 1L buddies. Meantime your financial future belongs to me. Now drop and give me another $20K!

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  7. Part of the Oath is promising not to sue the school when they find themselves broke and unemployable after graduation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, of course, suing a !iar for !ying shows a comp!ete !ack of civi!ity.

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  8. Who wouldn't want to incur enormous sums of non-dischargeable debt to receive a "scale$ of ju$tice" pin from a currently non-accredited trash heap?!?!

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    Replies
    1. The only pinning that should go on at that kids party of a law school is playing pin the tail on the donkey. The little cunts could chase the donkey dean around the classroom with blindfolds on - just like Justice! - and stick those pins into his backside.

      It would make a nice change from the faculty chasing the students around and sticking their cocks up their asses and raping them.

      Which reminds me. I'm taking bets on how long it will take before one of those sicko sex offenders working at that school actually gets sued for touching the students. My money is on six months, and for a bonus I also bet it's the dean.

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  9. Invent your own ethical standards! Just like the law profs and deans fleecing you made up their own ethics. Each person's own ethics are true and deserving of a justice pin.

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  10. median age 33. and not one of them thought spending 5 weeks on a pin was ridiculous. i feel sorry for their mothers.

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  11. Funny thing about all these rankings and prestige, third tier and so forth... nobody is asking the right question -- "does it pay to attend one of these schools?" Forbes just released a ranking on business schools based only on ROI. That is, "should I go to this school based on metrics in MONEY I will make." That's the only ranking, or prestige, or "hope" that matters ....

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  12. I'm glad the press release actually used quotation marks around "scales of justice".

    Usually a way of indicating that something is not really what it says it is. "Scales of justice" to me means the same as snigger snigger "scales of justice" yeah right you morons, being bought off with little shiny trinkets.

    It's not like the fucking SEAL trident or something else that you've worked hard for and achieved. It's sitting through a pathetic gimmick of a course and writing some bullshit as stupid as retarded women who write their own wedding vows.

    It's an ethics course. Don't lie to the court. Don't steal your client's money. Don't be a dick or do anything you wouldn't want your mother seeing you do. End of story.

    Where's my fucking pin?

    Oh that's right, I went to a real law school and not a joke "law school". Those quotation marks again...

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  13. Unfortunately, dybbuk123, you missed the boat on this one. You see, the pin has great value and Indiana Tech knows this. When employers are sifting through thousands and thousands of resumes of law grads begging for that unpaid internship (if you recall, the ABA recently begged the Department of Labor to allow unpaid internships at firms) or for that $10 an hour document review job, there will be great dismay and a sigh of exasperation until the employer comes upon the resume of the Indiana Tech law graduate. Suddenly, the employer will see someone who has value and morals - someone who, having received the professional pin from Indiana Tech, will be ethical and professional.

    The resumes of the other candidates - you know, those greedy, unethical minions only interested in money who were not taught moral values because they did not attend Indiana Tech - will be thrown aside, so that the employer knows that when he or she hires that $10 an hour document reviewer or unpaid intern that he or she is hiring someone who simply isn't in it for the dollar, like the other greedy individuals are. Yes, the employer will know that in hiring someone from Indiana Tech w/ the golden professional pin, he or she will stick around for that unpaid internship and that $10 an hour doc review job, because he or she is 'professional' and not in it for the money.

    Yes, I expect lots of great jobs await the Indiana Tech law graduate, because of that gold pin. We all know that is what is important to employers.

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  14. Keep the stories about this school coming. Indiana Tech Law School is a microcosm of the larger scam, and I sincerely hope it fails. If this greedy student loan cash grab succeeds, then the law school scam is worse than I thought.

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  15. If there is a God then ITL's students are reading all of this raw truth.

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  16. Meanwhile, over at Valparaiso, currently Indiana's only accredited fourth tier (until the ABA grants provisional to ITech, and you know that it will), this year's entering 1L class size is 208, a 28% increase over last year's entering class size. Looks like Valpo decided to follow the American U example of grabbing as much in tuition $ as it can, while it can.

    Source: Valparaiso Law, Annual Review (2012-13) at 24

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  17. What I think will be utterly fucking hilarious is when it's revealed that the ~30 poor souls still at Tech are all actually independent bloggers/journalists writing about the scam from inside the toilet.

    (I've seriously thoughts of forging the necessary documents, taking the LSAT, and enrolling in a fourth-tier toilet on the zombie debt of "Herbie Schlickmann.")

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Writing? Are you sure that they're literate?

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    2. What kind of documents do you think you need to *forge* to get into Indiana Tech?

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    3. I was thinking of taking the LSAT. You might be right on the application itself.

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  18. Judge to Attorney:

    "Where's your pin, counse!or? Didn't you take the Oath of Professiona!ism? Have you no ethics?"

    ReplyDelete
  19. Many thanks to Dybbuk for finding this gem. Indiana Tech is such a gigantic comedy, and I'm convinced that in some grand sense its existence was meant for us to enjoy.

    With that said, it's horrifying to think of what awaits those poor dupes in the Spring of 2016. Say a prayer for them, and support the reform movement.

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  20. Are the pins awarded by andré look-at-me-ain't-i-great-four-names-all-lower-case pondscum?

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  21. Shame on you all for thinking inside the box!

    The pin is obviously designed to give them a one-up in the job market. You know, when they go to work as a waiter at a "fun" restaurant, they'll already be +1 in the flair department.

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  22. "My mommy went to Fort Wayne, and all I got was this fucking pin."

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  23. I don't understand why the school has three level of professors - Professor, Associate Professor, and Assistant Professor - when the school only opened this year and there are only 9 people on the faculty.

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    Replies
    1. In three years they will have more than 300 students and will need more faculty. It's in the business plan, you can look it up.

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