A recent ad aimed at law school grads. I have no comments, other than the ad being fairly representative of the (un)professional, aggressive, cutthroat and sales-driven atmosphere awaiting most law grads who set up solo practices or work for small firms. I've removed the name of the lawyer and his firm:
Have you ever wanted to work in a successful firm where you're an integral part of a team of winning trial lawyers? Do you love the prospect of being a hero every day by helping real people with real cases? Are you looking for a job where you can earn more by producing better results? If you answered yes to all three of these questions, this job may be for you. We're a boutique firm with a busy trial practice and rapidly growing demand at our [removed] offices. We are seeking a top quality law school graduate eligible to work as a traffic defense (speeding, DUI, etc.) litigation attorney starting immediately. The position is one of the most important in the office, involving daily and direct contact with our clients, making them feel confident in our ability to protect them, calming their fears, and showing them excellence in the courtroom.
A strong desire to excel is a requirement for this job. You must be prepared to work harder and smarter than your competition before, during, and after trial. By following our case management and trial litigation system, you will be a champion for your clients on a daily basis. You don't even need any experience, as we will train you. However, positive energy in everything you do *is a must*, and it's also important that you're comfortable writing and speaking for a public audience and in trial. If trying cases to win and standing up to bullies in court scares you, this isn't the right fit. You must also be an independent worker. The last thing I want to do is micromanage your day, so if you need to be told what to do all the time, we're not for you. If you're a person who starts your day with a smile and ends it with a bigger smile, definitely consider applying for this position.
Here's the deal. I do not hire "associates" because that term has become synonymous with indentured servitude. I do help young lawyers start their own firms, I provide them with an office in my building including parking, staff support, furniture and equipment, telephone, internet and a computer, personal one-on-one training, and marketing resources which bring in a steady stream of clients. If you earn my trust through quality representation of your own clients, you may be allowed to serve in an "of counsel" role for cases that my firm brings in while building your own business. I will take you to court and show you how to try cases and win. I will guide you through the process enough times for you to feel confident, perform skillfully, and win trials.
As such, this is not a traditional "job", there is no paycheck other than what you earn, and there are no benefits. I will help you set up your trust and operating accounts, but you will need to start with the cash to kick off your own marketing campaign ($1,000 minimum) and a malpractice policy. This year I brought two "of counsel" attorneys into my building and helped them set up their own firms. They are now ready to graduate. Both are in or have just completed their first year of solo practice, and neither had much experience. Last month, both of them grossed over $15,000. After expenses, I would estimate that they are making at least $60,000 to $75,000 per year (they pay and can claim deductions for their home offices, mileage, etc). They are their own bosses and make their own hours. I provide mentoring.
Don't take my word for it - take a look at the numbers, which are listed in the table straight from the trust account ledgers. (see [removed]) These are gross numbers -- the percentage that we retain for rent, staff support, etc will go from 25% to 33% to 40% as your revenues grow to annualized levels of $100,000, $150,000, and $200,000. As you can see, my first In-house Attorney Of Counsel earned well over $150,000 in her first 12 months of practice, and is on track to bring in nearly a quarter of a million in 2014. My second attorney posted equally impressive numbers, but both of them have learned what they can and must now leave the nest to make room for the next generation of superstars. I have no doubt that they will soar on their own, and continue to enjoy the benefits of membership in my marketing firm, [removed]).
To apply: e-mail us. Make sure you spell and write English correctly (any other languages in which you may be fluent, especially Spanish, will make you a great teammate). The subject line must read "I'm your new lawyer...". In your e-mail, tell me why you're the best fit to join our team. Let your personality shine through in this. Also, be sure to send your resume as an attachment, as well as any other attachments, links to your websites, pictures or videos that you think would be helpful. Of course, we will check you out on the internet, so if what we find is pictures of you looking or acting inappropriate, don't bother answering. No phone calls, e-mails only. My name is [removed], and you can find out more about me at [removed]. If you call my firm about this opportunity and waste my receptionist's valuable time, your resume will go directly in the trash and you will make the list of lawyers who can't follow instructions.
You should apply immediately if interested. While we will wait as long as it takes to get the right person, we are ready to fill this opportunity today. E-mail me your resume today, and get started with your successful career as a winning trial lawyer.
Still want to be a lawyer? Remember, you just paid $150,000 for an education which might - if you're lucky! - qualify you for