Tuesday, September 20, 2016

C-minus: University of North Texas turned down for accreditation

One word in the language seems so coarse that even many people who indulge in profanity shy from it. Chaucer bowdlerized its spelling when he had his Wife of Bath say "For certeyn, olde dotard, by youre leve, / Ye shul have queynte right ynogh at eve" ('Yea, certainly, old fool, if you'll believe, / Tonight your fill of [*censored*] you shall receive'). Shakespeare hinted at it many times, from Hamlet's talk of "country matters" to Malvolio's recognition of his darling's handwriting from "her very C's, her U's and her T's". With a number of notable exceptions (Burns, Joyce, D.H. Lawrence), later authors have not been so bold.

Yet one institution calling itself a university has adopted a name that practically begs to be associated with this primus inter pares of the obscene lexicon. The University of North Texas even goes by its acronym, UNT, and proudly displays these letters where an enterprising vandal with a taste for verisimilitude could fill in the gap with a pen or a can of spray paint or any other suitable implement. Third Tier Reality recently featured a photo of a mug marked "UNT" whose handle, mounted on the left, supplied the missing letter through its shape.

The latest little stUNT in the law-school scam is the opening of (grUNT) yet another toilet law school, this one at UNT. Needless to say, the rUNT of the litter is a Different Kind of Law School, just like all others. It claims two redeeming features: an allegedly low cost of tuition (about $17k per year) and a mission to serve candidates whose horrible LSAT scores and abysmal grades somehow mask their aptitude for the legal profession.

Last month, however, the ABA's accreditation committee set down its rubber stamp long enough to recommend against accrediting UNT:


Reportedly the committee objected to the quality of the student body: "[T]he committee was troubled by the number of students with low LSAT scores. Last fall, one-fifth of students from the first class landed on academic probation. UNT also admitted 17 students in 2014 and 2015 who had been dismissed from other law schools. Most of them had poor grades." Specifically, according to the report, "[i]t appears that the law school is admitting applicants that do not appear capable of satisfactorily completing its program of legal education and being admitted to the bar":


So it appears indeed. UNT's admissions function "rel[ies] less on GPA and LSAT scores ... in favor of recommendations and life experience":


Now, "life experience" is the hallmark of a diploma mill. For decades, commercial services posing as universities have sent out diplomas for a fee without requiring any academic work, supposedly because the buyer's "life experience" alone justifies a PhD.

Using "life experience" as a factor in admissions is different but little better. While "life experience" might justify giving a chance to an academically capable candidate who grew up in trying circumstances, UNT seems to be using it as an excuse to admit academically incapable applicants. Even the bar exam, simple though it is, requires a minimum of intelligence and literacy—traits not readily compensated by "life experience".

Rachel Hawkins, a 3L at UNT, defends her unaccredited law skule. She considers it "too big to fail" and seems to think that it deserves accreditation for that reason. "This is UNT. This isn't Jim Bob's law school", she says:


Sorry to be blUNT, Ms. Hawkins, but yours is indeed Jim Bob's law school. It's an unaccredited dump that admits large numbers of people who haven't a prayer of passing the bar exam, or for that matter completing UNT's own curriculum.

Royal Furgeson, Jr., dean of UNT, intends to fight for accreditation. He insists on "a fair hearing" at which UNT can "tell the council that there’s a giant need for affordable law schools like us":


Furgeson is so far up his own cUNT that he may come out the other end seeing daylight. Even if there is a giant need for a law school like UNT, it does not follow that UNT should be accredited. In particular, UNT admits huge numbers of students who just aren't smart enough even to graduate and pass the bar exam, still less to succeed as lawyers. The committee has pointed that out, yet Furgeson goes on prating about the mission of his stUNTed law school.

Should UNT lose its bid for accreditation, Ms. Hawkins may go to California, where her father practices law. Why? "[B]ecause in California, unlike Texas, you can graduate from an unaccredited law school and still take the bar."

Oh, Ms. Hawkins, are you in for a surprise! California does allow for taking the bar exam on the strength (such as it is) of a degree from an unaccredited law school—but only if the school is registered with the Committee of Bar Examiners. Only unaccredited law schools in California are eligible for registration. So, no, with your degree from UNT, you won't be able to worm your way into the bar in California. Too bad, Jim Bob.


  1. I think she meant Joe Bob, not Jim Bob. And, in fact, it is Joe Bob Briggs' law school, 'cept there's no Aaardvarking and the only thing that dies is students' futures. Scam on.

    1. It reminded me of Jim Bob from The Waltons. As I recall, he was the poorest student in the family.

      Good night, Elizabeth.
      Good night, Mary Ellen.
      Good night, John Boy.

    2. John Boy was sharp as a tack, though.

  2. UNT

    By Maurice Leiter

    I see UNT, source of all my joy,
    relishing in the failure of others.
    But sadness builds inside.
    My cOCK has never tasted the "Real Thing",
    and I don't mean Coke.
    But my mouth has felt the taste of cOCK.
    The real thing.
    Lots of times.
    Is my mouth a vAGINA?
    Nay. That cUNT doesn't count.

    Stories of others' failure, usually relished,
    yet now I think only upon my own;
    my pENIS untouched except by one's own hand,
    as eyes scan screen for sNATCH while
    snatching a secret moment in office far from
    student eyes.

    I should report, must retort,
    thrust myself upwards upon the failure of others,
    ejaculate lashings praise upon the stomach of my success.
    But now, reminded of pUSSY I've never had,
    for which my "little philosopher" yearns,
    I lie silent, longing for female flesh to finally engulf my
    cOCK, wrapping its wetness around my mEMBER,
    softly stroking spurts of sperm from my scrotum.

    But it is not to be.

    My dONG shall feel the coldness of my hand.
    Ah, there we go, old friend.
    Read it and weep, UNT, you losers,
    as I knead it and weep precum from bellend,
    followed by ropes of jizz,
    manly pulses of man piss.

    I shall wipe the floor with you, UNT,
    I think
    as I wipe the floor.

    1. What, no mention of tWAT?

      Joke for you, from the time when Trans World Airlines existed (I'm showing my age again):

      Flight attendant: "Sir, would you like some of our TWA coffee?"
      Passenger: "No, but I'd love to have some of your TWA tea."

    2. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingSeptember 20, 2016 at 5:54 PM

      Had to look up your joke on the Interwebs. I flew on TWA, Braniff, Eastern and Ozark to law school during the 80s. I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't feel old. On the other hand, the Millenial working at the movie theater gave Mrs. Carswell and I a senior discount without even asking our ages.

    3. Welcome back, Maurice, the Bawdy Bard.

    4. It appears to me that "Maurice Leiter" and "Old Guy" are the same person with the same vocabulary. But that's a gooood thing. Well done, Maurice.

    5. Sorry, I'm not Maurice Leiter. I could never write in that style.

  3. I am not sure why every politician, school administrator, and local judges feel that every town, city, burg, village, County, Parrish, Township, District, needs a law school. I get it. The Rule of Law is important and most lawyers perform a valuable community service. Yes, we keep mopes and DEPLORABLES in line....No, you can't sue General Motors when your meth still blows up in your '98 Bravada. No Billy Rae Bob, you can't punch your baby Moma (with four of your kids) at the Walmart because she took your money for your Basic smokes just because she ran out of Pampers....

    However, there are just too many lawyers. And the people proposing all of these law schools live rich, very comfortable lives and want to "feel good" about helping the vast underclasses that they created because of "NO NEW TAXES" and lack of industrial planning and policies. They have no idea that Solos are only earning around 37K and loosing ground.

  4. ITOT, ultra-contrived mode...September 20, 2016 at 9:52 AM

    The sederUNT at UNT responsible for the decision to start yet another unneeded law school should be taken to accoUNT for their failure to pUNT when the idea was first floated and should bear the brUNT of going forward, undaUNTed, with an idea that is sure to haUNT UNT's students with the scarlet JD and debt they will never surmoUNT.

  5. Whenever they want to establish another one of these slag heap schools, they always come up with some bullshit sales pitch revolving around “innovative teaching methods,” “emphasis on practical skills,” “affordability,” “the need for more lawyers for underserved population,” “one-on-one mentoring” etc ... These are the same promises Indiana Tech made years before the disastrous July bar exam results put paid to those lies. In the end, there is only one thing you need to know about UNT - its median LSAT score, which is well down in the 140s. This country needs another 140 LSAT law school about as much as the Middle East needs another civil war to break out. Even the pushovers on the ABA accreditation committee aren’t buying this nonsense anymore.

    1. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingSeptember 20, 2016 at 5:43 PM

      The ABA was FORCED, dragged, kicking and sceaming to DO SOMETHING. The check engine MEL light was on. The Education Dpartment foced their hsnd. The ABA is doing this "regulating" with a wink and a nod. Window dressing. They told UNT to "go to the movies" until this tumult blows over. Let things simmer down a bit, wait till the heat is out... I draw your attention to that Leonard Cohen song... "Everybody knows, Everybody knows the dice are loaded." The Dean and local politicians picked up the phone and said, "What is this bullshit?" Accedidation is just around the corner.

    2. I don't know Captain, back in June the ABA got its ass reamed by a DOE advisory committee when it applied to retain its accreditation authority. By all accounts, the ABA people at the meeting completely caught off guard by what went down. If the ABA has to throw some fourth tier toilets under the bus to retain its accreditation authority, it will. And I don't see this shit storm blowing over any time soon. The dramatic decline in admission standards that took place at all but a handful of elite schools is baked into the cake and we are starting to see the results with decline in bar passage rates. No reason to think that will change anytime soon. The July bar results were certainly bad news for Indiana Tech, but they were also bad news for the fuck heads at the ABA that granted IT provisional accreditation. Don't be surprised if that accreditation gets yanked.

    3. Even the rubber-stamp-wielding ABA has to have some standards. _UNT probably won't get accreditation, and Indiana Tech may well lose its provisional status.

    4. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingSeptember 21, 2016 at 7:23 PM

      You guys are wrong. I am a real lawyer, I can answer anything. If the ABA had standards, we wouldn't be graced with a whole host of UNRANKED law schools now peddling correspondence GEDs. The past is prologue. Wishing, hoping, praying, blogging may provide a moral salve to your tortured souls, but is not grounded in reality. Can't just shut down a LAW SCHOOL.

    5. A few months ago, a report from the US Department of Education recommended that the ABA lose its power to accredit new law schools.

      I hate the ABA from top to bottom, but I do think that it will be forced to act eventually against a couple of the very foulest law schools, such as Indiana Tech and _UNT. By accrediting toilets from which not even 10% of the graduates pass the bar, the ABA would destroy its credibility. It has to deny or revoke accreditation every now and then, just as a casino has to produce a handful of winners.

  6. Here's the first of the day, fellas! To old D.H. Lawrence.

    -George Hanson, True American Lawyer.

    I can't be the only one who thinks "Royal Furgeson Jr." is a fake name. If you enroll in a college and THAT's the name of the dean, what the hell are you thinking?

  7. The trash pit is operated by such people. By the way, that image was fun!