Thursday, June 24, 2021

Über-toilet coming to Shreveport, Louisiana

Two years ago, when fools in the Pelican State were talking about opening a so-called law school in Shreveport, Law School Truth Center wrote a feasibility study showing what a goddamn stupid idea that was. Now, however, the project is proceeding: über-toilet Southern University Law Center is opening a branch in Shreveport.

Southern University is one of the rare law schools that make Cooley look good. Its LSAT scores of 143/144/146 place it dead last among ABA-accredited law schools outside Puerto Rico. It is now the only non–Puerto Rican law school (there were many just a couple of years ago) whose LSAT score at the 75th percentile is below 150. In short, it is a fucking dump. Yet somehow it drew in 336 first-year students last year.

Opening this über-toilet-to-be will allegedly cost between $8 million and $10 million, but Old Guy expects the real figure to be much higher. Already the state government has pledged to flush $500k down this toilet. The building that houses a public library in downtown Shreveport has been earmarked as its new home.

And this branch of the nascent Southern University chain of über-toilets is being planned around a four-year curriculum. Why four years, rather than the usual three? On the reasonable assumption that the students will be too damn stupid to finish on schedule? Will there be an entire year of bar review? Who will sign up for this trash heap when its program is a third longer than that of any other law school?

A local politician justifies the foundation of a new über-toilet on such ridiculous grounds as these: “Corporations and companies looking to move their headquarters and things like that, they want to know if their senior staff would have access to professional degree programs.” First of all, just exactly which corporations are eager to move their headquarters to Shreveport? Be serious. Second, no corporation is going to want to send its “senior staff” for a “professional” JD at the local four-year über-toilet. But of course the local boosters have to tout their shabby-ass little city and its shabby-ass little state however they can.

Public money thrown down this rathole will simply fund a monstrous embarrassment. Louisiana, like most of the other states in the region, doesn't have a single decent law school. With four mediocre to utterly contemptible law schools already, it certainly doesn't need another. This ill-considered venture will be Indiana Tech redux, with the notable difference of state funding to perpetuate über-toiletry in northern Louisiana. Even Cooley has been closing campuses one by one; but Southern University, the new Cooley, is expanding into nondescript pseudo-urban sites. Expect this to end badly. In the meantime, you can bet your ass that many a recently cashiered hackademic scamster from Florida Coastal will be applying for a cushy job at La Toilette Shreveport.


Thursday, June 10, 2021

Toilets Я Us, Part VIII: Florida Coastal, the last InfiLaw über-toilet, is closing down

Break out the Champagne, everyone, for today marks the end of the InfiLaw era of scam-schools: Florida Coastal, InfiLaw's last über-toilet, is closing down.

After losing its access to the federal student-loan gravy train, Florida Coastal (Horrida Coastal) had to submit to the scam-enabling ABA a "teach-out" plan for winding itself up without just dumping the students on the ground (as former InfiLaw scam-school Charlotte did). Finally the ABA has accepted a teach-out plan whereby Florida Coastal will stop teaching courses at the end of the summer. Currently enrolled students will either transfer to other law schools or enroll elsewhere as "transient" students (that makes them sound like vagrants) while still receiving a degree from Florida Coastal, which will provisionally remain accredited until 1 July 2023 just so that it can issue those degrees.

I don't know why anyone would want a degree from an über-toilet that had just been flushed. Transferring would make more sense than enrolling as a "transient" student, but the best choice of all—if available—is to use the closure of the school as an excuse for backing out of one's student loans. 

Which law schools are going to scoop up the jetsam of Florida Coastal? The U of North Dakota welcomed the detritus of InfiLaw franchise Arizona Summit with open arms. Other failing law schools may be eager to snap up a few dozen toileteers. 

The number of law schools closed in the past five years now stands at fourteen:

Cooley (one campus)

Hamline or Mitchell (the two merged)

Indiana Tech

Whittier

Charlotte

Savannah

Valpo

Arizona Summit

Cooley (a second campus)

Thomas Jefferson (relinquished ABA accreditation in favor of state accreditation)

La Verne (relinquished ABA accreditation in favor of state accreditation)

Concordia

Cooley (a third campus)

Florida Coastal

Which scam-school will be the fifteenth to close? Appalachian, Ohio Northern, Faulkner, Western State, Mississippi College, Golden Gate, District of Columbia, Vermont, Western New England, Charleston, the rump of Cooley, and a number of others seem like prime candidates. Nominate your (least) favorite below.