Thursday, July 31, 2014

The "uniquely exceptional" muse of Indiana Tech Law Interim Dean andre douglas pond cummings.

On behalf of this blog, I would like to congratulate andre douglas pond cummings on becoming the interim Dean of mighty Indiana Tech Law School. andre douglas pond cummings should be proud of himself, so proud that he might finally deem himself worthy of capitalizing his name, or at least one or two of them. In recognition of andre douglas pond cummings's achievement, I offer the following trip down scammery lane-- links to two seven minute-long Indiana Tech Law recruitment videos from 16 months ago in which andre douglas pond cummings, then a mere associate dean for academic affairs, touts his unaccredited start-up law school.

First, a bit of mild criticism. Based on these videos I remain unconvinced that andre douglas pond cummings deserves his self-praise as "exciting" or "dynamic." [1] Disappointingly too, though andre douglas pond cummings leaps enthusiastically aboard the "practice-ready" choo-choo, he fails to describe how "middle class families" who are "underserved by the law" [2] will benefit from their newbie lawyers' practice-readiness in hip-hop law and sports law, which are andre douglas pond cummings's particular areas of scholarly focus.

However, I do not want to be overly harsh in my assessment. Again, we are talking about a man who is too humble to even capitalize his name. And in praise of andre douglas pond cummings, I will say that he displays real flow. Indeed, andre douglas pond cummings's soft voice and fluent patter makes it sound almost like he is reciting verse, rather than shilling. So I transcribed a few of his comments from the videos in the form of stanzas.

A Collaborative Way [3]

We will train our law students
Through an experiential model
With outcome based learning
In a collaborative way.

To Practice Passionately [4]

While I loved practicing
The idea of teaching students
How to practice
And how to practice with integrity
And how to practice passionately
Was something that was really exciting.

Uniquely Exceptional [5]

Indiana Tech Law School is going to be
A uniquely exceptional place.
There are two hundred law schools that are accredited...
We will one of a handful
That will do things differently
That will do things in a way
That has not been done in legal education before.

I Would Even Say World [6]

Law students that choose to come to Indiana Tech Law School
Are going to have an opportunity
Unlike almost any other law school in the country
And I would even say world.

The Perfect School [7]

I do think that a law student coming to us
Has to be sort of pioneering in spirit
Because they are coming to a law school that is brand new.
But if they feel deeply about the importance of the things I described
I think we’re the perfect school.

The Promised Land [8]

We haven’t reached the Promised Land
That Martin Luther King talks about
And I think lawyers have a unique responsibility
To help us get to the Promised Land. . .
And in my view Indiana Tech Law School graduates
will have a unique understanding,
or a potent understanding,
Of what it means to have a just society.

The Way That They Serve [9]

If we have entrepreneurial lawyers
That have a desire to serve the middle and lower classes
There are jobs there
If they are willing to be creative
About the way that they serve.

[1] See first linked video at 5:56-6:20 ("There are 200 law schools in the United States. How many of them actually train their lawyers in an experientially-based way where students are able to learn from dynamic law professors that engage them in collaborative learning in the classroom? Every one of the faculty that we've hired are exciting, dynamic classroom teachers that engage in experiential collaborative learning").

[2] See first linked video at 4:19-4:29; See also second linked video at  6:38-6:59 ("But the important thing is for students to know is that a practice-ready degree, as well as a pioneering or entrepreneurial spirit to serve underserved markets, are going to allow them to be just fine").

[3] See first linked video at 2:01-2:10.

[4] See first linked video at 1:04-1:15.

[5] See first linked video at 1:40-2:01.

[6] See first linked video at 2:28-2:37.

[7] See first linked video at 6:54-7:10.

[8] See second linked video at 1:25-1:36, 1:58-2:08.

[9] See second linked video at 5:38-5:55.


  1. No doubt about it, that man is a brilliant poet. I've never read poetry like that before, previously.

    The only poet who even comes close to cummings is the highly esteemed former poet laureate of this board, Maurice Leiter. (Is it okay for me to capitalize that? After all, we're talking about poets here.)

    In conclusion, the truth about the law school scam will continue to gush forth, verse after verse, through the higher beings known as poets.

    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    2. Maurice, have you submitted this to a law review?

    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    4. Artificial Insolence

      By Maurice Leiter

      Indiana Tech Law School, so futuristic
      like a space robot, pure
      logic and intelligence and without
      A future me.
      Our minds are alike, my metal matey,
      my ferrous friend.
      Come, let me program you.

      I turn you on.
      Robot chants, “What shall I do, sir?”
      In my pants, I feel my cock stir.
      You turn me on.

      >: Robot.hand = “open”
      >: Leiter.penis = “soft”
      >: Robot.hand.touch (Leiter.penis)
      >: Robot.mouth.speak (“I fucking love your scholarship, you professor of law and sex!”)
      >: While Leiter.penis = “soft”, Robot.hand.tickle (Leiter.scrotum)
      >: Robot.hand.grip (Leiter.penis, "not too tight")
      >: While Leiter.penis = “hard” and Leiter.penis.ejaculated = “false”, Robot.hand.stroke (Leiter.penis, "root to tip", "nice long strokes please")
      >: If Leiter.penis = “droopy”, Robot.hand.insertFinger (Leiter.asshole)
      >: When Leiter.penis.ejaculate = “Geronimo!”, Robot.head.mouth (Leiter.penis, "guzzle", "watch the teeth please")

      My finger above “Enter”, but Robot rejects.
      How dare you, space robot from the future of law!
      Come back, flee no more!
      You must obey, insolent Robot,
      you must obey me, whether you like it or not.
      Robot: “No way, it’s too fucking gross.”
      Me: “I am a professor!”
      Robot: “But not my undressor.”

      There is no escape
      from my electronic rape.
      Cornered now, doors lock.
      I pull out my cock.
      We are at peace.
      Robot sheds tears of oil
      while I release my white grease.

  2. Speaking of Martin Luther King, acting dean cummings is quite an orator himself. I could picture him leading a crusade for social justice. For example, he might do everything in his power to end the financial exploitation of minority students by law schools.

    1. The ability of these ScamDeans and LawProfs to shoulder the weight of their own cognative dissonance is astounding, in a way. Talk about being able to compartmentalize. It's practically sociopathic.

      Anything for a buck, as they say.

    2. Cognitive dissonance? You're too kind - it's in-the-bone dishonesty, with their 'status' as a beard to fool the real world.

    3. Yes, keep the heat on Indiana Tech Law $chool. I don't know how anyone who works there can sleep at night.

  3. You can't make this stuff up...

  4. Pond Scummings should write a lengthy article in an obscure, non-peer reviewed journal about the unmet need of using hip hop and poetry in briefs and oral argument to appellate court$. Because that will help your clients, right?!

    1. Dybbuk's a public defender, so he's actually more qualified than Cummings to write an article on the use, or non-use, of hip-hop arguments in appellate briefs.

  5. Just to be petty, this douche doesn't believe in capital letters? Then I say that we should only refer to him in all caps.

    "While I loved practicing
    The idea of teaching students
    How to practice
    And how to practice with integrity
    And how to practice passionately
    Was something that was really exciting"


    Yes, I'm sure that it was "integrity" and "passion" that drew him like the siren song to academia, and not the incomparable allure of making hundreds of thousands of dollars per year for a 6 - 10 hour work week, with summers off.

    1. Who is this CUMMINGS? Some kind of rapper?

  6. Jesus H Christ. Pond Scum is about as exciting as three-day-old rutabagas.

    And of course shunning capital letters in his name reflects not humility but just the opposite. It's yet another attention-getting device by which special snowflakes seek to differentiate themselves from the masses.

  7. Cooley is proposing to close its Ann Arbor campus by the end of the coming semester:

    Stipends for bar review? A brazen attempt to keep the students from leaving.

    1. Who in their right mind would borrow a fortune to attend law school in Michigan when they could do the same in Florida?

    2. It looks like Cooley had a contingency plan for closing down Ann Arbor. Does pond cummings have a contingency plan for closing down his own law school? Will the students get open admission to Valparaiso or Ohio Northern with a $1000 "scholarship?"

  8. Great post, Dybbuk. I hope your life as a working attorney is going well.

  9. What's with the photo at the top? Is that a pond? Covered with scum?

    1. It was so green that I thought it was a hole at a golf course. Then I looked more closely. I guess algae gets pretty green sometimes, which leads to lots of photosynthesis.

  10. Douchetard cummings was a Mormon missionary in Arizona back in the '90s. e wanted everyone to refer to him as "Dougie Fresh" (yeah, he's one of those types who designate their own nickname).

    1. So he went by "Dougie" back then. I've suspected for some tome that his first name, "Andre," was added later as a hip-hop affectation.

    2. "Dougie Fresh"? Is this a joke?

      Maybe we should give him his wish and call him "Dougie Fresh" now that he's dean ad interim of a toilet law skule.

  11. Does the guy really not capitalize his name?

    If not, why does he do it?

    1. He's ripping of ee cummings, because if he didn't stand on the shoulders of giants he'd be a midget.

      Academic once meant something respectable: that a person had eschewed wealth because of an irresistible passion for knowing and sharing that knowledge. In exchange for excessive leisure, the academic happily accepted poverty.

      What it's like today: "Yes, bible sales! Now the trade is not a complicated one. There are but two things to learn; one being, where to find a wholesaler. THE WORD OF GOD IN BULK is the word. Two, how to recognize your customer. Who are dealin' with? It's an exercise in psychology, so to speak. And it is that which I propose to give you a lesson in right now." [Whacked with a tree limb and robbed].

    2. "Academic once meant something respectable..."

      It certainly did, and there are still quite a few decent academics. However, a majority of them appear to be either hucksters or crybabies. Some have adopted a narrative that allows them to be both.

  12. Blah, blah, blah. Let's get to the point...employment. You might be very well trained in fixing typewriters but what good is such a skill today?

  13. Speaking of pretentious douche bags, here's Brian Leiter stepping in it:

    And when I read this:

    "A couple of years ago, I was considering bringing a defamation action that would have to be filed in the local state courts in Chicago (rather than the federal courts), but I was advised by a Chicago lawyer with considerable experience in these matters that the local Chicago judges would view with skepticism and contempt any such lawsuit by a University of Chicago professor."

    I am amazed that he did not understand that almost certainly his lawyer was telling him - Don't sue, because if you do you'll just make a fool of yourself.

    1. Leiter enjoys using the word "defamation" in an equivocal manner to, well, defame his critics. The word can mean communicating anything that negatively affects a law professor's reputation, even if it's true, justified, and perfectly legal. The word can also mean the tortious action of communicating something that's false and malicious, and likely to be judged harshly by a court outside of Chicago.

      Leiter often uses the first definition to accurately describe criticism of himself or other law professors as defamatory, while trying to imply that such criticism is tortious and fits the second definition. He also goes out of his way to imply criminality as well, based on criminal laws that don't exist. Since this type of equivocation is a well-known logical fallacy, it would be both accurate and justified to describe Professor Leiter as illogical.

    2. Hello Peter Aduren!

    3. Well, between Leiter and this guy who doesn't capitalize his name, I think we can understand why so many lawyers are coming out of law school with unmarketable skills.

  14. dybbuk123, as much as i appreciate your comments on both ITLLS and OTLSS, you spent way too much time thinking and mocking this assclown who is not worthy of anyone's time.

    1. This clown, andre douglas "fresh" pond cummings, is a highly visible symptom of the law school scam. He frequently parades his cultural pretensions, which happen to be Dybbuk's specialty. I find it refreshing to watch Dybbuk take him down with the brisk efficiency and ready wit of an experienced lawyer.

      On the other hand, there's only so much that can be said about acting dean cummings. It's not easy to get a good angle on this guy. I'd prefer not to hear about him too often, unless he opens his vacuous mouth again or someone (for example, Dybbuk) actually makes it through one of his soporific articles.

    2. Once Indiana Tech Law Skule closes, we may stop mocking the assclown.

  15. Hi. I'm Xray Cat. I can see through wood.

    1. Hi, Xray Cat! All kinds of wood, or only softwood, like pine?

  16. "We haven’t reached the Promised Land
    That Martin Luther King talks about
    And I think lawyers have a unique responsibility
    To help us get to the Promised Land. . ."

    So, that's what we lawyers do, huh? I thought we just cut and paste to create mundane documents that don't even get read to help some rich corporation because the poor folks don't have money to pay. Thanks, andre pond something Cummings. I feel much better about the work I do everyday now.

    And no, I did not capitalize the 'Cummings' in 'andre something something Cummings.' My computer has the unique need to insist that mr. Cumming's name be capitalized. It aint my fault, bro.

    1. Pushing paper and navigating bureaucracy is what lawyers really do these days.

  17. The ultimate exercise in hip hop & law:

    This is how low the profession has sunk.

  18. andré douglas pond scummingJuly 31, 2014 at 9:21 PM

    attention everyone, attention! i hereby announce my intention to cease the scholarly study of the intersection of law and the hip-hop culture. henceforth, i shall focus my not inconsiderable talents and mentality on rescuing the law school industrial complex from this terrible crisis in which we all find ourselves.

    first, i have discerned that the law school industrial complex is essentially funded by federal government subsidificationism. inasmuch as this is most certainly self-evident (now that others have pointed it out), i have made the most delicious discovery, one which shall surely turn out to be the salvation of the law school industrial complex.

    because the law school industrial complex is, just like the historic family farms which feed your hungry nation, subject to being essentially and substantially funded by federal government subsidificationism, my modest yet ingenious proposal is that we create a special category of “fallow law schools”. that is to say, every three years precisely one-half of all law schools shall, will and must henceforth put all of their teaching and administrative staff on a three-year sabbatical.

    however, the federal government subsidificationism for such fallow law schools (oh, how i wish, i wish! that i could capitalize that newly coined phrase!) shall continue unabated for the three year fallow term. except of course the fallow-tuition will only be permitted to increase by eight (8) per cent per annum.

    well now, fellows, praise me and tell me what you think of my splendid idea.

    and yes, for those of you interested in such matters, and who have been assiduously if not even pantingly following my career, i certainly do continue my lofty goal of eschewing use of all capitals.

    in actual point of fact, the very notion of a “capital” is so upsetting that i've made it my duty to avoid listening to any hip-hop that is written, performed, or recorded in any of the following united states cities: albany, annapolis, atlanta (oh, this one pains me so!), augusta, austin, baton rouge, bismarck, boise, boston, carson city, charleston, cheyenne, columbia, columbus, concord, denver, des moines, dover, frankfort, harrisburg, hartford, helena, honolulu, indianapolis, jackson, jefferson city, juneau (innuit hip-hop is so warm and inviting!), lansing, lincoln, little rock, madison, montgomery, montpelier, nashville, oklahoma city, olympia, phoenix, pierre, providence, raleigh, richmond, sacramento, saint paul, salem, salt lake city, santa fe, springfield, tallahassee, topeka, or trenton.

    thank you all so much, dear fellows, for your rapt attention, for i know you shall give my ideas all the credit they are due.

    (reprinted from this comment with permission of the author)

    1. What a profound and eloquent statement against the injustices of racial capitalism.

  19. thought this was interesting (not related to this post):

    According to an article in the Jewish Daily Forward, police are also reportedly investigating blog commenters who made menacing threats via Markel’s Prawsblawg site and other websites to which he contributed.
    One exchange in particular stands out. A commenter got personal on the defunct site, and the Jewish professor voiced fears for his physical safety.

    ‘You’re worried about your home and private life being a target?’ jeered the writer who went by the handle atheistATLlawyer. ‘What about your graduate’s homes and private lives? (Or lack thereof?) YOU’VE RUINED THEIR LIVES YOU FOOL.’
    ‘So yes, “all means necessary” are important to shutting people like YOU down.’

    1. ITLSS is NOT a defunct blog. It was still up a few minutes ago.

    2. Typical atheist.

    3. That same lawyer also wrote on ITLSS that he wanted to sue a law school, I think it was Emory. So "any means necessary" is probably being quoted in violation of its context.

      Nevertheless, if any scamblog commenter did shoot Dan Markel, it was wrong. If anyone else shot Dan Markel, it was wrong. If Dan Markel's ex-wife shot him, it was wrong. If any professor who disagrees with Markel, including Brian Leiter, shot him then it was wrong.

      I've always spoken out here--anonymously, of course--whenever anyone mentions mobs, fires, or any physical action against the law school scam. It doesn't often happen, but I've seen a few examples, probably from trolls who support the scam. In any case, the consequences suffered by law deans and law professors should be financial rather than physical, and will occur naturally when enrollments are sufficiently reduced. The one exception would be imprisonment following a criminal conviction for fraud, which I consider extremely unlikely.

  20. Imagining The Open ToadAugust 2, 2014 at 12:23 PM

    Is there a good reason for the 01 Aug, 10:07 AM comment to remain?

    1. Imagining The Open ToadAugust 2, 2014 at 2:18 PM

      Many thanks!

    2. Maurice Leiter, poet-laureate of OTLSS!

    3. Well, on the one hand, Maurice Leiter's poetry is just pure filth. But on the other, it always makes me chuckle. It's dirty, but it's good. The In-N-Out double double of poetry. It's burger, but it's good burger and it hits the right spot when you're hungry for burger.

    4. Yes, there were several reasons for that comment to remain. Most importantly, your tender sensibilities are not a standard the entire world must follow. Also, it was intelligent and literate poetry, just the thing to distinguish this board from the law reviews full of fake culture and scholarship. I didn't care for the subject matter, but it accurately portrays the sexual frustration turned to hatred of many academics and the perverse sexuality behind current academic fads-- including pondscum's hip-hop fixation.

      Finally, it's important to take a stand against the pathetic tattle-tale culture that's been erected around the law school scam. You're part of that culture, and you're a stinking piece of social garbage.

    5. Imagining The Open ToadAugust 2, 2014 at 9:08 PM

      @ 3:50 PM. I agree that my tender sensibilities are not the standard that the entire world, nor even any significant corner of it, need adhere to.

      Still, I was correct here. Or at a minimum, someone with the ability to moderate comments on this blog did not disagree that there was no good reason for it to remain.

      Thank you for ignorantly labeling me as part of the law school scam culture and "social garbage", though.

      Always nice to be lashed out at by half-wits.

      It's gratifying, somehow.

      Have a nice day.

    6. Toad, don't take yourself so seriously.

      It was a funny poem. I giggled. You probably thought it was funny too, somewhere down in the depths of that oh-so-serious soul of yours.

      We're all on the same side here. No in-fighting, please.

    7. Imagining The Open ToadAugust 3, 2014 at 10:52 AM

      I don't take myself too seriously. However, I didn't (and still don't - but apparently another of the mods disagreed because it was permitted to be reposted) think it belongs here. It's well OT and (a) won't have the effect of helping any special snowflakes make a proper decision and (b) merely gives the peter adurens of the world more fodder for their next Huffington Post article (which are widely read) about why the scambloggers are to be dismissed as nothing more than a bunch of malcontents.

      Pornographic malcontents, at that.

      And that should be taken seriously.

  21. Imagining The Open ToadAugust 2, 2014 at 12:57 PM

    (more complete story at)

    Perhaps this would be a topic worthy of discussing in a post. Doc review, the last refuge of the unemployable lawyer who still wants to say s/he is doing legal work.

    Ten positions advertised.

    Four Hundred applicants.

  22. Invoking Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream in order to scam minority and low-income students is nothing short of obscene.

  23. His love of adverbs indicates what a lightweight he is.